Epiphany

I just watched Billy Joel's "Last Play ay Shea" and I had  an epiphany.  You may ask what I'm talking about but I think it is a moment of revelation and insight.  I was truly amazed how much Billy Joel's music has been an important part of my my life. There are so many connections with songs, events, and people. 
I followed the Mets when I was growing up in New Jersey pretending I was Tom Seaver, Tug McGraw,Rusty Staub,  or Willie Mays. I remember playing at Dixon Bros. in Moutain Lakes with my cousin George Wilson pretending we were the Mets winning the World Series.
My memories of his music in the 70's - example is Norman Glazer turning me on to Piano Man and 52nd Street and me buying my mother "Glass Houses" as a gift so I could listen to it.
In the 80's it was the album  "An Innocent Man" that me and Debbie  really enjoyed especially - "Keeping the Faith, Innocent Man,  and The Longest Time". Candy was always a big fan of Billy Joel.  We saw him in Charlotte at the original colisieum with obstructed view ( Best seats in the house). The only obstruction was the people in front of us.  Great Seats! The bus ride back from West Virginia Weslyan after losing in Regionals - singing and drinking to Billy Joel.  
In the 90's I served in the Marine Corps, divorced, and met my new wife. A lot of his songs fit into this part of my life.  Alison and I saw the musical " Movin Out" based on Billy Joel's music in NYC while visiting my sister Melissa.  "Goodnight Saigon" didn't mean as much until I served in Desert Storm.
I've always liked Billy Joel and his music but until I watched "The Last Play at Shea" did I realize how much he touched my life growing up.  His remake of Bob Dylan's "To Make You Feel My Love" sums up how I feel about the loves in my life.
I'm truly amazed at how much someone's music that I grew up with connects with so much of my life through the years.

Today's sermon at church hit a chord with me today.  It was about very bad decisions.  My last tattoo is based on good versus bad choices in life. The Barneget Lighthouse represents the good, safe choices and the mermaid the risky, not so good choices we make in life. 

Dealing with kids on a daily basis, I remind my students/athletes about the choices they make on a daily basis.  I constantly have to remind them to be careful in their choices on who they are hanging with, the things they are doing, and the consequences of those choices.

People don't realize the choices they make and the impact it has on others. Too many times they are caught up in the moment and don't realize the damage it can do in the long run. I've seen good friendships and relationships ruined by poor choices. I've seen some stay together but they are usually very strained and nothing like they used to be.

I think back to some of my choices in life and realize I was very lucky in some of the choices I made. There were too many times I chose to go with the mermaid rather than head toward the lighthouse. Yes, I have several regrets about some of the choices I've made in my life and wish that I could go back and change a few of them. It;s something I ahve to live with.

Cuts - It puts me in a crappy mood.

I made cuts yesterday and I hate it more than most people know. I was in an absolute funk  (Hell, I still am) and with that funk comes a whole bunch more shit going through my head.  What I mean is besides wondering if I did right on who I kept and who I cut loose I think about a thousand other negative things in my life along the way and with all those negative thoughts comes a crap load of what ifs, whys, and how could it have been different.  I can't explain it or talk to anyone about it because there are things going through my head that I don't want other people to know and the ones who do I don't want to make worse.  I have scenarios, questions, and theories going through my head all time but when I'm set off in a negative funk like this it is so freaking consuming.
I have dreams at night of things that wake me up in the morning in an absolute pissed off mood and I can't tell or share it with anybody because I don't want anybody else to know what the hell is going on in my head. When people ask me whats up? I give them some lame excuse  or lie about what's bothering me and more times than not that is good enough for them. I wish there was an easier way to deal with all the negatives in my life but it seems that the easiest way is to just keep it inside and get over it.

New Life Choices

My wife and I are trying the Blood Type Diet. I'm an O and she is an A.  We are opposite of each other in more ways than this but I should eat lots of protein and she should eat lots veggies and fruit.  I have to cut out mostly carbs in my diet and hers is meat (poultry and certain seafood is okay).  She will have an easier time with it than I will because hell she hasn't eaten red meat since she was 16.  I on the other hand will struggle because I am not suppose to eat wheat products, drink coffee, or have dairy products. These are all things that I really do like a lot.  So my life style is in for a big change. There will be no more breakfast burritos or coffee in the morning at school. My wife on the other hand doesn't have to change too much about her diet except she's not supposed to have beer or liquor and limit certain grains. Piece of cake for her not so much for me.
I'm also hoping we can change other things about our lifestyles.  I've been way too busy with my soccer stuff and she with all of her writing stuff.  This summer has been good in that we have been able too set time aside for alone time for us as well as time for our kids.  I really hope we are able to keep it up during the school year as well.  Its been nice to have some quality time with my wife and the kids this summer.  We have talked about scheduling family time and us time when school gets started I just hope we can keep all of these life changes going. It has been a great summer with the wife and the family and I hope we can keep all the new healthy life changes going.

No Comment!

     I had made a comment on one of my wife's blogs and it really pissed her off, she called me a liar.  I was trying to be funny but it didn't come across that way and she basically told me not to comment on her blog anymore.  So I will no longer make a comment on her blog, instead I will do it here because nobody knows that I even have a blog.
    The blog I commented on was the one on her becoming a soccer widow.  I am gone all the time with practices, games, and other stuff. Hell there are some weeks I could be out of the house every night.  Most spouses would not be real happy with this situation but my wife is an exception.  She is totally okay with it because it gives her more guilt free time to do the things she needs to do like reading, researching, blogging, facebooking, editing, critiquing, or writing.
     She may be a soccer widow for the next 3 months but I am a writers widow all the time.  What I'm saying is that with writing comes researching, blogging, facebooking, critiquing, editing, book writing groups, and who knows what else.  Looking at everything she has to do to be a writer doesn't leave much time for what she loves and that is the writing. On top of all of her commitments to be a writer she has her teaching job, the kids, tutoring a few times a week,  exercising each day, and trying to stay current with Glee. There isn't much down or free time for her and that is why I'm a writer's widow.
     So, if she happens to read this I want her to know that I am sorry for my comments on her blog, sorry for getting bent out of shape (when I do), and am truly sorry that at times I give her reasons to doubt my support of her dream.  I want this for her because if it does happen she might finally relax and enjoy life again.  I miss my wife and best friend but I know that this is something she wants and I am behind her 99.9%.  Yes, there are times I' pissed about our lack of quality time but it is a sacrifice I am trying to make and deal with because she has sacrificed so much for me and all of my time away during my soccer seasons. So, Al, if you read this please know that I am behind you even though it may seem like I'm not happy but  as you have told me in the past I just need to get over it.  I'm trying and I hope you know that I am your biggest fan and that
I LOVE YOU!!!!
 

Mad at the world

Have you ever gotten up in the morning and found yourself in a really bad mood? I did this morning and I'm really not sure why. I've just been kind of pissed off all day.  Hell there are lot's of reasons why I could be pissed of but I can't think of anything specific that set it off. Went to bed at a decent time, got some help to fall asleep, and had a good nights sleep.  So I don't get it because I'm pissed at the world right now. I just hope I get a good nights sleep tonight and wake up feeling like my usual jolly self.

Same Old Story

 I was talking with another teacher about this student who is having some difficulties in her life and we concluded that she brings a lot of it upon herself.  You would think that at some point the student would figure it out, but no its the same old story same old song and dance, my friend. 
How do you help someone who is on that constant roller coaster of ups and downs with all the twists and turns? When is it time to just let it crash and burn?  Do you stay on the ride  by providing the support and love or do you eventually just get off and move on to the next ride?