Cuts - It puts me in a crappy mood.

I made cuts yesterday and I hate it more than most people know. I was in an absolute funk  (Hell, I still am) and with that funk comes a whole bunch more shit going through my head.  What I mean is besides wondering if I did right on who I kept and who I cut loose I think about a thousand other negative things in my life along the way and with all those negative thoughts comes a crap load of what ifs, whys, and how could it have been different.  I can't explain it or talk to anyone about it because there are things going through my head that I don't want other people to know and the ones who do I don't want to make worse.  I have scenarios, questions, and theories going through my head all time but when I'm set off in a negative funk like this it is so freaking consuming.
I have dreams at night of things that wake me up in the morning in an absolute pissed off mood and I can't tell or share it with anybody because I don't want anybody else to know what the hell is going on in my head. When people ask me whats up? I give them some lame excuse  or lie about what's bothering me and more times than not that is good enough for them. I wish there was an easier way to deal with all the negatives in my life but it seems that the easiest way is to just keep it inside and get over it.